The door of humility

In the Holy Land, at the Church of the Nativity, there is a "door of humility". If you are over four feet tall, you have to bend down to go through it, to get to the place where it is believed that our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, was born. I remember reading about it in some book or other ("Letters to Young Catholic"? "Witness to Hope"?) and wishing, wishing, that I could make a pilgrimage to see it. Maybe someday, God willing. It's at the top of my list of "Places I Would Visit (If I Had Extra Money)".
God in His goodness has provided me with my own little local door of humility. It doesn't lead to the birth place of Christ, but it does lead to a place of joy for a different child. And being present to that little child is a large part of my vocation, my path to grow in holiness. Yes, it's a humble path, but also a GREAT one! We spend a lot of time in this tent. Fortunately, it holds our ENTIRE family-and then it gets super warm.

"I rejoice to be little because only children, and those who are like them, will be admitted to the heavenly banquet" -St. Therese

(thanks for letting me use the photo, Steve!)

The Wife/Mommy Examination of Conscience

Sometimes at the end of the day, I wonder, "What have I done all day?". On days that I don't fall asleep too quickly I usually wonder,

"Have I been a good wife and mother today? Have I fulfilled the obligations of my vocation? Did I grow in virtue and holiness? Did I do God's will? Did I give glory to our Lord? Did I spend time loving our Lord?".

It's a different kind of examination of conscience-not that I've abandoned the standard one!!!-because these new questions are so specific to MY vocation. Like Monsignor always said, "Sin is boring. There are only ten ways to sin. Holiness is fascinating, because there an infinite number of paths."

Did I read 30 board books to M today, patiently, with zest? Did I tackle the laundry pile or just add to it? Did I change a bunch of diapers with joy? Did I make the bed? Did I spend time in prayer or spend too much time with facebook and email? Did I build a fort? Console a sad baby? Kiss an owie? Build block towers? Was I truly present to my precious child? Did I give M a looooooong bath or rush through it? Did I wash the floor, the high chair, the dishes immediately or did I procrastinate? Did I pick up toys? Tickle, tickle, tickle? Respond patiently when the little kid peed on the floor? When she unrolled half of my floss? When she flung apple sauce all over the kitchen? Did I promptly remove my husband's work clothes from the dryer so they wouldn't get wrinkled, or did I forget them for a while? Did I look beautiful when Ron got home from work or was I still wearing my pajamas? Did I listen attentively as he descibed his day?

In each moment, a chance to respond to His grace. To live heroically! Or to be mediocre.

Did I have a warm meal waiting for my husband when he returned home from work? Yes.
(this picture doesn't look so good, but it's homemade chicken noodle soup and sweet potato rolls and it was good!)

Saturday morning

Breakfast out with a toddler-


At least I didn't get a lapful of water this time. She sure loves water.

Marching....

Have you seen this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vupEpNjCuY&NR=1
It's the cutest. And very appropriate as we celebrate and work to protect babies today with the March for Life. I wish I was there. Freezing, muddy, tired, and all. Our Lady of Guadalupe, pray for us. Pray for an end to abortion!

Pictures of the March from 2007:

I love my little tooter...

I got BOTH flu shots, and here I end up with the flu (maybe? but hopefully not).

Little one has been so attentive to me, bringing all her books for me to read as I snuggled in bed and cuddling with me on the couch as she drank her Danimal. Then she passed some gas. I laughed at her. Then she passed some more gas and laughed at herself. Several minutes later, she filled her daily diaper. Flu or no flu, I still get to be a mom.

In one of God's great blessings, my sister is home and she was able to help me with M&M today. Off to snuggle in some blankets and pray for my poor husband who is downstairs making dinner for a crying baby.
Picture:Aunt Meg and M bonded early on

Just call me Martha...

As in Martha Stewart. (although how much cooler would it be if it were after St. Martha? I think she is amazing.)

M and I made this the other day. We left it on the floor, and when Ron got home, he saw it and exclaimed, "A picture of Elijah! I'm taking this to work."

Success. Hopefully my attempt at sewing will also meet with success. Or humility. God's will.

Rosie and the police...

This afternoon, as I was getting M ready for her nap, the doorbell rang. "Strange", I thought. I hesitated. Was it the UPS man? Could it be one of those suspicious people that have been hanging around the neighborhood lately? I was home alone with my baby, so I took my time peering out the window and locating my cell phone.

A firm knock.

"Hmmm, persistant and strange. Not UPS." I gathered up my baby and headed towards the door. "Who is it?" "The police."

Oh.

A disheveled and confused me and a literally naked baby opened the door to two police officers. They informed me that someone had called 911 from this residence, and not answered the phone when 911 called back. I was still confused.

I thought. "Well, she took the phone off the desk a few minutes ago..." I was in disbelief. Could my "baby" have called 911? I wonder if they were in disbelief, too. They took my name, and left. They left me to ponder.

We had finished lunch, and I had deposited M in a safely child-proofed area while I had finished my last bite of eggnog ice cream (what? you don't even like ice cream! except when it has the chocolate shell hardening topping I am smitten with it!). I was apart from her for one minute. In which time, she pulled a phone off the desk and, apparently, called 911.

I replaced the phone and organized the papers she had unorganized. The phone rang. Caller ID said, "MY-TOWN VILLA". I thought, "That must be some strange restaurant." Really, the caller ID had shortened VILLAGE into VILLA. It was the police calling.

I took little kid to the bedroom and took her diaper off. I watched her run around and climb on things. I took a picture of her. We read a book, or two. And then the police arrived to the chaos. Naked child, me in my pajamas, mess from lunch, toys everywhere.

I wonder what they thought about me and my life in that two minute window. What I'm pretty sure they didn't think was:

-This lady is graceful.
-She must be a really good and devoted mom.
-I can tell she loves Christ.
-Wow, she runs her household well.

Is my life ordered? Is is rooted in Christ and directed by Christ? Is that evident to others? I have some changes to make, folks. Concrete, easy changes. Well, at least concrete.

PS-Don't worry. Aunt Meg is watching M while I write this!!!

Grateful. on a Tuesday.

7. sweet baby kisses

8. non-toxic crayons

9. a playful husband

10. God's glory manifested even amidst the melting piles of snow

11. friends

12. home-made beauty


13. pomegranates and clementines-oh delicious winter fruit!

Joy

Two years ago (from yesterday) we found out with great joy that our little family was no longer two, but three! It was a day of utmost joy for Ron and I. I had arrived back to our home after spending some extra time away fundraising for my ministry. I hadn't been feeling too well, but I was refusing to get my hopes up that this time could be a baby. Ron, on the other hand, was hopeful, and immediately made me take a pregnancy test. I took the test, and left it in the bathroom for the two and half minutes that it required. I decided I should eat some chocolate, just in case it was positive and this was my last chance-since everyone knows pregnant ladies shouldn't have caffeine. Ron ventured to the bathroom.

"Come look." he told me.

I headed in there. He handed me the test, smiling. "Two lines. What does that mean?" I grabbed the box to read the instructions. He just stood there. I fumbled. Fumbled. Two lines...


Pregnant.

Surprise, elation. Embrace. Pregnant. Baby. Double check. Yes! Baby.

We headed to a bookstore to get a pregnancy book. We cancelled our pilgrimage to Lourdes. We rejoiced in God's timing, in His beautiful gift. Pregnant. One of the deepest desires of my heart fulfilled. Delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.



The time of waiting, the first couple months of our marriage, was a time of complete surrender in my life-of learning to pray, trust, and not worry, as Padre Pio had advised-and now our baby was due on the feast of Padre Pio! It was a time of learning that we can't choose when to have a baby. The Holy Spirit, giver of life, gets to choose when to give that most precious of all gifts. When I finally made my fiat- "Thy will be done Lord. If we aren't meant to have any babies, help me understand, and have peace, and show me your will."- He responded so generously, as He always does. A baby. Perfect.

And she is.

Sisters, sisters

Dear Meg,

Thank you, thank you, thank you for loaning me your SUPER comfy sweats, t-shirt, and sweatshirt on Christmas Eve, when my nylons were cramping my style. During their extended stay with me, I've made them feel right at home. Can I adopt them? They are super cozy, and I could wear them 24/7. But no, I shouldn't. As comfortable as they are, we were made for greatness, not comfort, right? And as a wise friend once said, "Beauty matters, especially in January." So they will be patiently awaiting your return on Saturday. I will also be awaiting your return, but not so patiently. I can't wait to see you dear sister. Can't wait. At all.

Love, Rosie

Clapping

My daughter LOVES it when we clap for her. "Oh, you ate your zucchini! Good girl!" clap "You put away your books, thank you you good baby!" clap "Good job on your trick at Little Gym." clap "Thank you for being obedient." clap The list goes on and on.

And the funny thing is, when she thinks she has done something good, she claps for herself. "Oh wow, look Mom, I ate a bite of that brownie" clap "Look at me, I put this piece in my puzzle" clap

The beautiful thing is, she KNOWS that she is good, not just that she does good things. She knows that she is loved, treasured, delightful. She knows her worth in the world-infinite!-she can feel it, and the peace and security that comes with it, along with the room to flourish, bloom, come fully alive. She is a beloved daughter of our Loving Father, the King of Kings, created in His image and likeness. And she is also our dear daughter. I'm glad she knows it. I'm glad she knows that she is GOOD. clap

Winter Fun

Back in the summer, I noted this little, tiny paragraph at the bottom of the page in Better Homes and Gardens. It was titled, "Get your fun on".

"Don't let summer slip by without checking off your just-for-kicks list. Play in the rain. Hail an ice cream truck for a Push-up bar. Wash your car at home (and purposefully get soaked). Catch some fireflies at dusk. Savor a sunset."

Yeah, I thought, I need to be more purposeful in soaking up the goodness of each season. So I clipped out the article. And by golly, we did most of those things. The day little M and I caught fireflies, Ron was in shock. See, I hate bugs, but not fireflies. He came upon us in the backyard as M&M was holding a firefly and declared, "You must get this side from me."-he didn't realize that I had caught the firefly for her....haha.

List of Winter Must-Dos: Go sledding. Make GOOD hot chocolate with marshmallows. Build a snow-man. Make snow angels. Drive around and look at Christmas lights. Feed the birds. Have a snowball fight. Make home-made chicken noodle soup and sweet potato rolls.

Any others? I'm sure there are lots of unique joys that winter brings us...

On a Budget

We're on a budget these days, trying to live with the mindset of,

"You could have that cute ($3) picture frame, or you could not buy it, and use the money for something greater-a HOUSE!"

Not just a house, you see, but a home. A soft place to land, a place to cultivate beauty and holiness, to make oh so many wonderful memories and begin family traditions. A place to thrive in, to be our most true selves, to be fully alive. A home.

And so, we're on a budget. Since we are a one income family living in an expensive area, and since we're hoping that our Lord will bless us with a large family, we're learning to live with what we need, and not always what we want.

Coupons
Re-used Gift Bags and Home-made Cards (but don't worry, the presents inside are new!)
Home-cut Hair (not a very good picture of it, but it looks good)
Cheap Shampoo
Library Books (and a growing Amazon wish-list)

And we have enough. We are grateful.

Thank you Lord, we have MORE than enough.

On Gratitude...

If you spend any time in the blogging community, you begin to see some trends. One of them is the concept of everyone writing a post on the same idea, and then linking all the posts to a main website. "Small Successes" and "7 Quick Takes" come to mind as the ones I seem to see the most. I'm not a big fan of these, but there is one that has recently intrigued me. It's a list of things you are grateful for, to be posted each Monday. Well, it's Monday. So, here goes.

My first attempt at fitting into this crazy blog world, and a chance to awaken my heart and mind to all the gifts my Loving Father daily blesses me with.:



(let's call this the napping edition):

1. that my baby still loves to cuddle. sometimes her independence makes me think that will come to an end all too soon.

2. the wonderful smell of my baby's warm head-and her soft, beautiful hair.

3. feeling her little body relax and her breathing slow down as she nurses, and then falls asleep in my arms. trust, complete trust, and comfort.

4. watching her breath, and being aware of what a blessing and gift she is. "Thank you Lord, thank you" uttered over and over. (of course, I'm grateful when she is awake, too. I just don't get the chance to sit down and study her and ponder her while she's awake. Then, we're busy!)

5. down comforters on cold winter days.

6. naps.

January=Make Your Own Adventure Month

The weather outside is frightful- literally bone-chilling. My little kid and I are mostly trapped inside all day. Play-dates? Yes please. Visits to the library? The indoor mini-park at the mall? Grandma's house? Nana's house? Yes, yes, yes, and yes. And that still leaves A LOT of time in the day.

In the summer, the outdoors beckons. Come out! Come play at the park, come splash in the pool, take a long walk, examine the flowers, catch the lightning bugs, visit the forest, the beach. Come breath deeply of the wonder and beauty of Creation. Come make water balloons, ride bikes, jump rope, play with chalk, make giant bubbles, grow a garden. Come sample the richness of the fruits of summer.

In the winter, the amount of time it takes to get dressed to go outside is often greater than the amount of time we spend outside. And so, in our little home, we've declared January "Make your own adventure month".

We take baths, lots of them, and make waves, bubbles, splashs, waterfalls, and whirlpools.

We play "dress-up".

We hide in our tent, and read books. Lots and lots and lots of books. (Okay, maybe we read the same book over and over, but we're in a tent, so it's still pretty cool.)

We make brownies-M&M likes to taste the dough and help stir.

We make home-made play dough.

We get Bella the baby dressed. And undressed. And dressed. And undressed. You get the idea.

We take walks in the stroller....inside the house.

We build (small) towers with blocks and knock them down.

We jump on the indoor trampoline.

We bounce on the giant blue ball.

We play with our stuffed animal collection. Ellie, Elliot, Elijah, Cola, Hubert, the Snow-man, and the bunny. They are always good for flying and tickle time.

We play with balls (yes, indoors. no, nothing has been broken).

We dance. Oh my do we dance. M&M has some serious rhythm (who knows where THAT came from!)



We blow lots and lots of bubbles. warning: don't say bubbles around here if you don't really mean that you want to spend at least 20 minutes blowing bubbles!!! M&M takes her bubbles seriously.

And we laugh and giggle and run around and hide and tickle and she climbs on everything possible and takes things out of drawers.



And at the end of the day, when we say our prayers of gratitude, I mostly have no idea how we filled our time in this month of indoors. Except that we did it together. And we are happy. And wow, the house is kind of a mess. Oh well. We're happy. And our lives are full of adventure.

Watch out world...

Dear world,



I can get on this chair all.by.myself.



I sit just like Mommy.



And nothing is safe from me.




Mom thought baby-proofing was fun! Bring on the toddler-proofing!!!

Love,
sweet little M&M
resident explorer

Starting Fresh...

After thinking about it for a long time, I've decided to continue/resume updating my blog with some new guidelines. No last-name. No pictures of my little kid's face and she will be called M, or perhaps M&M. Now my blog can be read by more people (if there are any people who would even desire to read it) even if it is mostly for me.... I know how much joy, solidarity, etc.- how many great and interesting ideas I find from blogs and I hope that perhaps this blog could provide those blessings for others, if our Lord wills it to be. At the very least, I hope it will be one witness of how our little family seeks to follow Him, and the joy that comes from that. So, without further ado, here are some of my favorite recent non-face pictures:

(from top to bottom-M&M puts away the balls at Little Gym, M&M in her "marshmallow pants" playing in the leaves with Grandma, playing the piano with her cousin, watching the sunset while M&M sleeps on a family vacation to Michigan, our family on our two year wedding anniversary)